How To Ask Someone Out


Hello all!

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day which is the dumbest holiday of the year, yes dumber than Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day, but alas I have some advice for you. It's how to ask someone out!

Do you have a crush? Or maybe you're just hanging out in a bar and you spot a cute guy/girl? All the time people are like "blah blah blah, waaaaah, that person is cute but I don't know what to say" and then I slap them across the face and say "have some confidence!"

It's quite simple, actually, all you have to do is walk over to her/him and say the first thing that pops into your head. It's really that simple. Remember when you were in kindergarten and you were trying to make friends so you would just say random shit to other kids? It's kind of like that, except don't talk about stuff five-year-olds talk about… talk about stuff people your age talk about, unless you are actually five-years-old and reading this blog, in which case: congratulations on learning to read! 

"But Chris, what if they reject me? What if they don't like me or think I'm weird?" you ask as I slap you across the face again. Who cares? Why would you want to spend any time with someone who doesn't want to spend time with you? It's their loss. Move on to the next one.

"But Chris, what if the next one rejects me, too?" you ask, as I slap you across the face for the third time. Your face must hurt now. How many times do I have to tell you? MOVE ON TO THE NEXT ONE. I try to talk to as many girls as I possibly can and I'd say I connect with 1 out of 10 girls I talk to. That's a lot of rejection, but does it bother me? Hell, no, it doesn't bother me! You know why? BECAUSE I'M A MAN and I'm the best and the only person who is missing out is the person who rejects me.

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. Go out and talk to as many lonely guys/girls as you possibly can. You may meet the love of your life! You may have already been in the same room/subway car/grocery store/elevator as the love of your life but if you didn't say the simple word "hello" you'll never know. 

Be confident. Be the best you that you can be. YOLO!